“Woe to me...”

This morning I was looking at the table of contents of Dr. Al Mohler’s book, He Is Not Silent: Preaching in a Postmodern World (Chicago, IL: Moody Publishers, 2008), with the thought of possibly reading it while I’m at home on Winter Break.

Pastor James MacDonald’s comments on the flyleaf stung me:

“I preach because nothing else can satisfy the urgency and passion that God has ignited in my heart for His truth and His people. The same should be true for you. If you can go sell cars or shuffle stocks instead of being a pastor and preacher of God’s Word, then go do that.”

I agree with the sentiment Pastor MacDonald expresses. Yet, I’m not a pastor and the opportunities to preach are rare.

After all these years, it sometimes seems like a dream or fantasy. But, it wasn’t a dream and I didn’t imagine it. Over nineteen-and-a-half years ago, God called me to preach His Word and shepherd His people. I didn’t choose this; the burden was laid on me. After all these years, I still feel that burden.

And, like MacDonald implies, nothing else has satisfied me. Nothing. That’s why his comment stung. For what does one do when all the doors have closed? “If you can go sell cars or shuffle stocks instead of being a pastor and preacher of God’s Word, then go do that.” I agree. And yet, I wish it were that simple.

The fact is I also have a responsibility, before God, to provide for the family God has given to me. 1 Timothy 5:8 is clear: “If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” 2 Thessalonians 3:10 is equally clear: “If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat.”

So, I work…doing something else besides being a pastor and preacher of God’s Word. In 1 Corinthians 9:16, I find where the apostle Paul wrote, “Necessity is laid upon me. Woe to me if I do not preach the gospel!” I think I understand what Paul meant.

And, it hurts so much.